Tag Archives: service

The One True Straight and Narrow Path

For some, the term “Straight and Narrow Path” is a moral code.

I grew up in a religion that used the phrase to indicate that moral code, plus a collection of behaviors, rites, and rituals one must accomplish in order to receive exaltation.

Years ago, well before my traumatic but beautiful faith transition, I started to see a new meaning unfold.

As I took step after step into my own personal awareness journey, I started to connect on a deeper level with character attributes—where they served me, where they went too far, and where they didn’t go far enough.

If I was working on a new coaching program, kung fu skill, or speaking engagement, I had to infuse my own confidence into the project in order to keep pressing ahead rather than quitting at every whisper of my past screaming at me that “I can’t.”

If I took that confidence too far, it turned into arrogance, infused with ego, and stopped me from seeking valuable support or feedback.

If I remained humble, but remembered all of the proof in my life that I’m truly “less than the dust of the earth,” I slipped into self-doubt and depression.

I started to realize there is a perfect place where confidence without arrogance, and humility without depression coexist.

This is the Straight and Narrow Path to ultimate joy and love.

This is that perfect place of BEing within ourselves that serves us and others in the best possible way.

Amend this Common Dichotomy Immediately…

This Straight and Narrow applies to all of the vast dichotomys of life, however one stands out to me today as I see clients, students, and friends subconsciously use one beautifully true principle to squash an even more important truth—the value of their own self-love.

Serving others is a critical component of a fulfilling life, however, hands down, most people overvalue serving others and undervalue honoring themselves.

Regardless of how much they know and believe this principle intellectually, the real, tangible results in their life indicate they don’t actually believe it in their very being.

If you take an honest look at the evidence in your life and discover this is you, then it’s time to flip it on its head!

You MUST begin with the utmost love and respect for yourself in order to create the best you to give to others—the best energy, value, hope, friendliness, love, clarity of mind, and the list goes on.

There can be no other way to successfully render loving service but to begin with you. To attempt to forget yourself and begin with another person, is to destroy the order of existence, and to deny those you would serve of the very best of yourself.

Those in my Tai Chi classes will recognize the successful resolution of this dichotomy in the principle of the substantial vs. unsubstantial, as it relates to the anchor of your self-love feeding the ability to serve others as much as you would like.

Of course, do not restrict yourself in serving others until you feel fulfilled—it’s a symbiotic relationship, in which you’ll rapidly achieve your balance when you use both aspects to feed and uplift the other.

The Many Faces of the Straight and Narrow

What other character traits are valuable, but can easily contradict each other when taken too far or not far enough?

Here are some examples:

  • Confidence & Humility
  • Self-Love & Serving Others
  • Exuding Joy & Processing Grief
  • Living in Abundance & Budgeting Realistically
  • Being Actively Fit & Pampering/Resting/Recovering
  • Working IN Your Business & Working ON Your Business
  • Productive Drive & Relaxation

Which of these do you feel are on point? Which are struggles for you?

Are there others that come to mind?

It’s a lifelong process to establish and live fully in your One True Straight and Narrow path of balance for benefit of your own greater good and of those around you. Awareness is the first step, followed by a commitment to adjusting.

Though this doesn’t happen overnight, we will establish the foundation for your balanced Straight and Narrow Path with the next group or private coaching offering.

UPDATE:

For May 2017 (or until spots fill, whichever comes first) I am slashing my coaching prices as I launch my new S.E.L.F. (Self-Empowered Life Formula) Coaching Program.

Send me an email at Support@TanishaMartin.com to schedule a complimentary SELF-Discovery session to see how your self-love mindset and success-driven actions rate and where they are stuck, holding you back from having the time, money, or energy to excel to your next level and to love your life right now.

 

Four Words that Will Change Everything Part 1

When you were first dazzled by the modern Cinderella story in Pretty Woman as Vivian emerged from her dark and uncertain life to become a lady in love and temporally cared for, did the vision of triumphant love and authenticity end with the credits when you left the theater?

Were you stuck on the saving actions of Edward? How he saved her from her tough life, even if you recognized she saved him as well?

Or did you realize that it was her story and as her story, it was all about her saving herself?

It wasn’t Edward. It was Vivian.

It’s never the external that saves us, though as influential factors they are greatly appreciated. The external isn’t the cause of our plight or out saving, it’s the result. Our experiences with the external circumstances are the result.

The result of what?

Of us. Of our lessons to be learned, our view points, and most significantly, the result our internal programming and mindset.

When the change happens, when our lives turn around, when that miracle comes through, it’s always because of us. Because we were ready to change, to bring our true authentic self forward, to breakthrough, stretch, and grow, even if it scares the sh!t out of us.

We take in the support, the assistance, the divine guidance. We use those, and in the end, it works out because of us. Because of four little words Kit and Vivian told each other every time they went to work.

“Take care of you.”


This is the foundation of my new program, Design Your Empowered Life, where beauty and miracles infuse your individual goals and desires in your daily life as well as long-term goals. Confidence, energy, time, finances, and all that is necessary for joyful living are yours when you empower yourself with what you need and want. Take care of you and learn more here.

Hurry, because today (Friday, 10/14/16) is the last day for the special HelpFindKelsie.com discount.

I Cried for Stephen. I Cried for all of Humanity.

The best part of being human is the worst part of being human.

Our ability to love, and to willingly choose it, fills us with unspeakable joy, but only at a price—we can’t truly have the capacity to experience such joy, without also having to feel the depths of despair at the horrors of life.

I read this story written by a former social worker about Stephen, who was never given the gift that everyone deserves—a loving family.

I sobbed uncontrollably for an hour. I cried for Stephen, whom I had never met nor heard of in person. I cried for all of humanity. I had “choice words” with God about it. I curled up in a ball. I stormed around my home. I couldn’t take it. When my energy was spent, I went to sleep—not a restful sleep, but sleep nonetheless.

Each of us can’t save everybody, hell, we can hardly take care of ourselves it seems, but we can all do a little more to let someone else know they are loved.

I demanded of myself to find a way to do more, to do better. I didn’t know what, but I would do something.

The next day I received an email from Urban Peak, the local teen homeless shelter where I am listed as a volunteer (I used to do street outreach with them until they shifted the program and stopped taking volunteers out with them). They were asking for volunteers to spend some evenings with the kids doing workshops or something fun and productive as the temperature drops and they can not longer participate in their favorite outdoor activities.

I knew immediately I could do something. Even though I actually still struggle with feeling like I belong, and who am I to think I have something worthwhile to offer (yes, even as a kung fu master and school owner, and life coach, I still struggle with my own programs!), I emailed the coordinator right away with a list of ideas around my professional skills and personal hobbies. She was so kind in her extremely grateful response! One step in the right direction.

I may never know if I’m even making a difference, but that’s okay. It’s not about me. It’s about them. It’s about bringing them something to do to fill the evening, a “family night,” if you will, and sharing my kind personality which treats them with care and respect. So that’s what I will do.

Will it change their entire lives? Probably not. But all the little things will add up for them and be a positive experience, I hope.

It’s About Love

I am reminded of when my brother, Bo, shared with me that he was driving an alcoholic member of his church to her AA meetings. Someone in authority in his church organization told him he was wasting his time because she’s not changing and hasn’t improved in years. Bo said he wasn’t doing it in order to get her to change. He was doing it so she knew someone loved her.

I hope the kids at Urban Peak know they are loved. I hope Stephen knew his social worker loved him. If he didn’t while he was alive, at least he does now.

It’s national adoption month, and two days ago was my sweet baby boy’s birthday. While my circumstances around being pregnant, issues with a family member whom I lived with during that time, labor, and giving birth were traumatizing for me, the one thing that was peaceful was knowing the family I chose to give him to was right for him. That peace has stayed with me for 22 years and I have been blessed to never doubt it.

I am thankful to his parents for stepping up to raise my child as their own.

I hope to be a more loving person every day to others who need to know they matter. Which is everyone from the most troubled youth, to the most put-together CEO. Everyone struggles and everyone needs to know they are loved.

What Can You Do?

If you’re local to Colorado Springs, consider spending a Night Out to fund-raise for Urban Peak. Learn about it here.

Otherwise, there are tons of organizations from homeless shelters, to battered women’s programs, to all kinds of support for all kinds of issues. Please find one that speaks to you and get involved. Start with Google, or ask your friends what they know about, and see what you find!

Williams, Lawrence, Rice, Peterson, Maynard, YOU

How do You Keep Your Chin Up When the Media and Your Fight for Others Get Heavy

Regardless of your opinion on each of these issues, we are bombarded with horror and trauma every day. Between Robin Williams’ suicide this summer, Jennifer Lawrence and other celebrities’ sexual assault, videos and photos about NFL players such as Rice and Peterson and domestic violence and child abuse, the recent death of terminally ill Brittany Maynard who advocates for the Dying with Dignity cause, the $9.6 BILLION human trafficking and sex slavery industry in America, and our own troubles, it’s time to take a step back and remember a few things…

Life is what YOU make it.

No, you can’t advocate for those who can’t speak out for themselves, or really promote a cause without seeing and sharing some aspect of the horror, but that doesn’t mean it has to permeate every aspect of your life!

Do what you need to do, help whom you need to help, while simultaneously creating the life you love. Be exposed to the terrible acts you are fighting, and balance it with everything that is beautiful and wonderful in your own life.

Terrible suffering has always and will always exist—how much more valuable is your ability to help those who are suffering while not succumbing to the darkness around those circumstances? How much more can you do when you are energetic and hopeful because you are enjoying your own life?

It’s not selfish to cherish the freedoms and comforts you have created for yourself.

Remember that every single person of functioning mind in a free country can create new experiences for themselves, just as you have done. It is ultimately their responsibility, not yours, to discover that they have power in their lives, and then to make the choices that serve them best.

Having compassion for those who are struggling is a valuable, and I would say critical, trait for your own character and for blessing the world. However, feeling guilty for having broken free from your own struggles is an emotion whose consequences don’t serve you or others.

Like the famous story about the boy who was throwing compromised starfish back into the ocean, and the downer man who said there was no way he could make a difference to the problem – he DID make a difference to each one who was returned to the ocean.

Love everyone and do what you can. Encourage others to do what they can. Keep up the fight and keep the bright light of hope shining in your heart and mind.

Keep infusing your life with everything that means the most to you, and keep fighting the good fight for others. If you need a pick-me-up, try my Joyful JuJu Get Happy Stay Happy Kit.

I’d love to hear what causes you are fighting for! Comment below and share how you keep your chin up when it gets tough. Thank you for all you do! :)