I did. Like five years ago, and even though I tried to catch it and shed the weight, instead, I went up an additional pant size since then.
I’m not supposed to be fat. I’ve had a “thicker” body type, but I’ve never been this big. Compared to where I had always been in the past (when I oscillated between a 15-pound range or less, but never passed a certain point), I am fat.
My face doesn’t look like me, because I’m fat. It’s gotten older, ugly, and rarely pretty.
This isn’t what a Kung Fu Master should look like. I’m not living up to what I’m supposed to be.
Some might look at me and say (or think to themselves) I’m not as big as them, so I should shut up about it and quit making them feel worse about themselves for being even bigger than me.
Some may look at me and say, yeah, you need to drop a few. (A “few” is about 50 – 60 pounds right now, by the way.)
No wonder I’m single!
So that’s where I am today. But what is the common theme you notice in every single statement so far? Stop reading, take a second to look back and really think—what’s the common thread?
I can imagine a few things you might have come up with:
- Everything is a judgment
- So much negativity
- “The whole tone is yucky, and I really don’t like it when people call people, themselves or others, ‘fat.'”
Did I miss one?
Yes, I did.
Every single statement about me being fat is based on a comparison of something else.
“I’m fat compared to:
- What I was before.”
- Someone else.”
- What a Kung Fu Master should be.”
- How I’m used to seeing my face in the past.”
Or even this—”I’m not fat compared to someone else who is fat compared to me.”
What we’re seeing is that my hatred of “being fat” is based on a comparison to something else, which leads to the judgment that it’s bad, which leads to the meaning that “I am bad and undesirable.”
This is where comparisons don’t serve us. They don’t serve us in body image. They don’t serve us in finances. They don’t serve us in other areas of self-worth or life.
Yet, this is how we operate as humans when we’re not in alignment with the truth of the universe.
Let me illustrate further with an analogy I learned from David Neagle.
Is this circle big or small?
What did you answer? Why?
What if I ask if it is big or small now?
How about now?
. o O
In any case, you have to compare it to something else to determine if it is big or small.
Is it bad or good for the circle to be bigger or smaller? Neither, right?
What if it was a tree. Would the tree be bad or good because it was bigger or smaller than another one? Still neither.
The truth of the Universe on this matter is the the circle just is.
The tree just is.
I just am.
You just are.
And you are one with the Universe. You are not apart from it. You are a part of it. When you know and feel that, then and only then can you put a judgment and meaning on it.
And that judgment and meaning is that you are beautiful and wonderful and perfect in this moment. Period.
When we get in alignment with that truth, we can stop judging every ounce of fat we see on our bodies.
By far, the first and foremost important purpose in life is to love and be at peace with who you are, right now, in this moment, whether fat, skinny, pale, dark, clear, broken out or anything else.
Does that mean you can’t or shouldn’t make changes? No. It means you start with self-love, then you can evaluate desired changes based on love, not hate or fear.
On January 10, 2016, body image expert Lynleigh Chamberlain and I are holding an absolutely free call on this topic.
At the Love Your Body without Changing a Thing: 3 Steps to Feel Beautiful in the Skin You’re In teleclass, we are going to give you the exact steps Lynleigh took to discover her own true beauty and fall in love with herself as she is.
We all secretly want that, and after we have that, we can change anything we want, or not!
I hope you’ll join us. Learn more and register here: TanishaMartin.com/loveyourbody