Tag Archives: powerful

Powerless Victim to Powerful Woman

An Overworked, Underpaid Failure

I remember the days where I was completely lost in my previous graphic design business and as a third partner in another company which wasn’t turning a profit—in those days, I was dealing with my abusive marriage. During a period of several months when we were separated, I focused on work and was putting in anywhere from 8 to 16 hours a day, and making about 500 bucks a month. Seriously.

What was wrong? Oh so many things I’ve learned since then!

Here are some of the big factors keeping me down, broke, over-worked, and in a seemingly endless cycle of failed efforts:

  1. I was a victim to my lack of support, mentor-ship, and knowledge in how to create a successful business (much less two of them at the same time) from scratch.
  2. I was a victim to my hard-wired internal belief system, which told me I didn’t matter and I wasn’t worth money or love.
  3. I was a victim to my disbelief that I could make money as a designer, even though almost every single client absolutely loved what I provided for them.
  4. I was a victim to the other partners in the company and their own blocks and understanding. (By the way, they were both fantastic and skilled people—we were just all so green in the venture, it just wasn’t happening fast enough.)
  5. I was a victim to the mindset that there is never enough, and the economy determines my wealth.
  6. I was a victim to the praise of “hard work” rather than smart work.
  7. I was a victim to the rut I had gotten into where I had lost all sense of joy, adventure, peace of any kind, and hope. I had no idea what I could possibly enjoy again.
  8. I was a victim to my negative self-talk and bad feelings toward myself, keeping me in a downward spiral of self-fulfilling prophesy.
  9. I was a victim not only to the direct actions of my abusive husband, but also to the value I put onto my his behavior and words.
  10. I was a victim to the concept of putting others first, the “Law of Sacrifice,” and God’s healing to the unreasonable extent that I thought I was special in being the one who saw all of my ex’s sides and there were so many ways it seemed I was helping him. I valued “endure to the end” far too much.

Or I could just say—I was a victim!

30-Days from Decision to Breakthrough

Within a few years, after some improvement, a new business acquisition, and some more income, but still not quite enough, I finally came to the point that pushed me to challenge myself for a breakthrough. That’s a story for another time, but the crux of it was that I made a firm decision to find out if I could actually change my circumstances and within 30 days, everything changed!

I tripled my income (to an amount I had never made in a single month before!), and I was suddenly flooded with self-awareness and respect—for the first time I really knew that I mattered and had power in my life! All of that helped me make the decision to leave my husband once and for all (I was safe to do so) that same month.

There were several key elements that created my breakthrough, but the one that encompasses all the rest was that I decided to value this above everything else…

The amount of personal power you have in your life is directly proportionate to the amount of personal responsibility you are willing to take for everything in your life.

This doesn’t mean I’m to blame for everything (or anything, for that matter, and certainly not for the choices of other people!), but it did mean I was no longer willing to be a victim to anything, not another person, not external circumstances, not even myself.

It’s been an amazing journey since then, full of learning, expanding, growing, and I’ve been grateful for the opportunity to help others take their power back as well, through both my kung fu school and personal development coaching programs.

Just One Shift to Change Powerless to Power-FULL!

If you could make one magical shift today that would change your life, start taking personal responsibility for everything. (Again, I can’t iterate enough—it’s not about blame, shame, guilt, or fault, it’s about going from being powerless to powerful!)

If you have a result you don’t want, realize it’s up to you to change it. If there is something outside of your control, either find a new solution or change your reaction to it. There is always something you can take upon yourself to improve your situation!

 


 

Attn: Ladies who don’t want to be victims and do want to embrace their kick-ass life…

If you are a woman in the Colorado Springs area and you relate to or are intrigued by something in this post, I invite you to join me at our next Women’s SELF – Defense – Confidence – Love Workshop.

It’s more than a self-defense workshop, and more than a personal development course! Get more information and upcoming dates at KungFuColoradoSprings.com/self-defense.