Tag Archives: empowerment

Powerless Victim to Powerful Woman

An Overworked, Underpaid Failure

I remember the days where I was completely lost in my previous graphic design business and as a third partner in another company which wasn’t turning a profit—in those days, I was dealing with my abusive marriage. During a period of several months when we were separated, I focused on work and was putting in anywhere from 8 to 16 hours a day, and making about 500 bucks a month. Seriously.

What was wrong? Oh so many things I’ve learned since then!

Here are some of the big factors keeping me down, broke, over-worked, and in a seemingly endless cycle of failed efforts:

  1. I was a victim to my lack of support, mentor-ship, and knowledge in how to create a successful business (much less two of them at the same time) from scratch.
  2. I was a victim to my hard-wired internal belief system, which told me I didn’t matter and I wasn’t worth money or love.
  3. I was a victim to my disbelief that I could make money as a designer, even though almost every single client absolutely loved what I provided for them.
  4. I was a victim to the other partners in the company and their own blocks and understanding. (By the way, they were both fantastic and skilled people—we were just all so green in the venture, it just wasn’t happening fast enough.)
  5. I was a victim to the mindset that there is never enough, and the economy determines my wealth.
  6. I was a victim to the praise of “hard work” rather than smart work.
  7. I was a victim to the rut I had gotten into where I had lost all sense of joy, adventure, peace of any kind, and hope. I had no idea what I could possibly enjoy again.
  8. I was a victim to my negative self-talk and bad feelings toward myself, keeping me in a downward spiral of self-fulfilling prophesy.
  9. I was a victim not only to the direct actions of my abusive husband, but also to the value I put onto my his behavior and words.
  10. I was a victim to the concept of putting others first, the “Law of Sacrifice,” and God’s healing to the unreasonable extent that I thought I was special in being the one who saw all of my ex’s sides and there were so many ways it seemed I was helping him. I valued “endure to the end” far too much.

Or I could just say—I was a victim!

30-Days from Decision to Breakthrough

Within a few years, after some improvement, a new business acquisition, and some more income, but still not quite enough, I finally came to the point that pushed me to challenge myself for a breakthrough. That’s a story for another time, but the crux of it was that I made a firm decision to find out if I could actually change my circumstances and within 30 days, everything changed!

I tripled my income (to an amount I had never made in a single month before!), and I was suddenly flooded with self-awareness and respect—for the first time I really knew that I mattered and had power in my life! All of that helped me make the decision to leave my husband once and for all (I was safe to do so) that same month.

There were several key elements that created my breakthrough, but the one that encompasses all the rest was that I decided to value this above everything else…

The amount of personal power you have in your life is directly proportionate to the amount of personal responsibility you are willing to take for everything in your life.

This doesn’t mean I’m to blame for everything (or anything, for that matter, and certainly not for the choices of other people!), but it did mean I was no longer willing to be a victim to anything, not another person, not external circumstances, not even myself.

It’s been an amazing journey since then, full of learning, expanding, growing, and I’ve been grateful for the opportunity to help others take their power back as well, through both my kung fu school and personal development coaching programs.

Just One Shift to Change Powerless to Power-FULL!

If you could make one magical shift today that would change your life, start taking personal responsibility for everything. (Again, I can’t iterate enough—it’s not about blame, shame, guilt, or fault, it’s about going from being powerless to powerful!)

If you have a result you don’t want, realize it’s up to you to change it. If there is something outside of your control, either find a new solution or change your reaction to it. There is always something you can take upon yourself to improve your situation!

 


 

Attn: Ladies who don’t want to be victims and do want to embrace their kick-ass life…

If you are a woman in the Colorado Springs area and you relate to or are intrigued by something in this post, I invite you to join me at our next Women’s SELF – Defense – Confidence – Love Workshop.

It’s more than a self-defense workshop, and more than a personal development course! Get more information and upcoming dates at KungFuColoradoSprings.com/self-defense.

Empowerment Living and Faith Transition

Introduction to Commonalities Between Empowerment and Faith Transition

I have wondered whether I’d ever broach “faith transition” in conjunction with Empowerment Coaching, and the more I’ve shared about it on my personal Facebook Profile over the last year, the more I realize how it fits with the needs of many in our community here.

This is my first post on this topic on my Empowerment Blog, and I will import and add more here under a new category dedicated to experiences around “Faith Transition.”

There are so many joyful and challenging commonalities between the various aspects of a “faith crisis” or “faith transition” experience and personal development for empowerment!

Among them:

  • Living your authentic self
  • Recognizing your divine nature and worth with ZERO caveats
  • Dealing with criticisms of loved ones who don’t understand or can’t fathom what you’ve discovered or why you take the path you are on
  • Breaking out of the mold of the standard “middle/working class” mindset in favor of greater joy and abundance, and breaking out of the family and/or religious mold also in favor of greater joy and abundance
  • Leaving your tribe, your known world and community for the unknown
  • Embracing unrestricted access to all the Universe has for you

I’ve had many meaningful spiritual experiences and transformational breakthroughs in my life, and by far my faith crisis and subsequent transition has become the single most significant (traumatic, joyful, and important) event of my life.

If you’ve been through a faith transition, posts in this category will hopefully serve as support from someone who knows how traumatic having your entire world flipped upside-down in this way can be.

If you haven’t but know someone who has, I hope these will serve as a basis for understanding and thoughtful discussion.

Varied Beliefs Between Coach and Client

No matter what religious or other “package” you put around High Truth/Universal Laws, the Laws remain and are compatible with any belief system. I have experienced them as a firm believer in my former religion, and as a post-believer, and I’ve found they function the same.

Empowerment Coaching with me has no bearing on what religion, spirituality, or atheism you and I personally ascribe to, and as long as we both fully realize that, we can work together in utmost respect.

As always, the ultimate goal is for personal empowerment, whereby we can live our most fabulous lives and influence the world to do the same!

A Fulfilling Life? That’ll Be Four Hundred Anxieties Please

How the Hell Did I Get on a Lion?

Yesterday I hit one of these moments when I was full of anxiety, tears, and brick-wall-head-banging. And today I read this article in Inc. Magazine, The Psychological Price of Entrepreneurship, quoted here:

Successful entrepreneurs achieve hero status in our culture. We idolize the Mark Zuckerbergs and the Elon Musks. And we celebrate the blazingly fast growth of the Inc. 500 companies. But many of those entrepreneurs… harbor secret demons: Before they made it big, they struggled through moments of near-debilitating anxiety and despair—times when it seemed everything might crumble.

Until recently, admitting such sentiments was taboo. Rather than showing vulnerability, business leaders have practiced what social psychiatrists call impression management—also known as “fake it till you make it.” Toby Thomas, CEO of EnSite Solutions (No. 188 on the Inc. 500), explains the phenomenon with his favorite analogy: a man riding a lion. “People look at him and think, ‘This guy’s really got it together! He’s brave!'” says Thomas. “And the man riding the lion is thinking, ‘How the hell did I get on a lion, and how do I keep from getting eaten?'”
I’m so happy this is becoming increasingly less taboo, and more authentically admitted as part of many people’s realities!

The growing pains of stretching outside of your comfort zone can be, and usually are, brutal. So why do we do it?

Because that’s where all the magic of an amazingly fulfilling life is.

We are not satisfied with mediocre. We thrive on experiencing things we never thought we could, and we live on the joy of helping others.

Watch a few of my encouraging thoughts in this short 3-minute video:

If you’ve hit one of those walls in the journey, remember you are not broken, “messed up,” stupid, or unworthy! Just the opposite—you are especially amazing because you are in the process of creating!

Take a moment and cry it out if you need, then get back at it like a Tiger until you break through the challenges and reach your dream.

Remember Your Big WHY

I hit a massive wall two years ago, not long after I started the memoir project at 150Husbands.com I mentioned in the video above. I was terrified to take it on and start talking about topics of abuse that would require me to be raw and open about my own domestic violence story.

I actually chronicled it in video and shared my progression throughout the day as I pulled myself up. It’s a long post, but you’ll see in the very first video the two moments when I couldn’t lie to myself or to you, as I suddenly reconnected to my big why.

Even as I was expressing fear and doubt, I couldn’t buy it when I knew I was drawn to this path. Remember why you chose your path, who you’re doing it for. If it’s big enough, bigger than yourself, then you will lay down your self-doubts and get back on the path.

Make Sure You Are Well-Supported

There is no need to do it alone. Get a weekly tip and power meditation in our pre-program calls for Design Your Empowered Life with Tanisha Martin—ease stress, stay positive, and get energized! Get in on it at TanishaMartin.com/empoweredlife.

If you would like some extra laser focused support to get you through your last hurdles of 2016, I have a couple slots open in my end-of-year blast private coaching special. See details here.

Celebrate this Year’s Completion with a Bang!

Are You Celebrating or Hiding Out?

It’s that time again when we are deciding whether to celebrate all we accomplished this year, or to hang our head down and just try to make it through the holidays.

Even if the latter is true for you, it’s hard not to get at least a glimmer of hope as the energy of a new start in 2017 permeates the air that, “Next year will be different!” [Or “even better” if this year rocked your world!]

“I’ll finally shed that weight, grow my business, let go of an old lover, spend more time with my aging parent, etc., once and for all!”

I’m in that place with my weight. I’ve hovered at the highest weight I’ve ever been for a long time, which started when my ex and I were so broke we were living off free or 1/2-off pizza and pasta from his work. It makes me shudder to think that was my primary diet!

Even though we parted ways a several years ago, and my diet is much closer to my healthy standard now, I still haven’t kicked the weight. To further complicate it, I have had such painful back issues that culminated in knee pain that has severely limited my kung fu fitness.

Thankfully this year, it finally dawned on me that I am awesome at manifesting miracles out of the blue and seeing amazing results in other areas, so why not apply the exact same system I use and teach my clients with fantastic results to this issue?!!! Seems like a no-brainer, but it seriously didn’t occur to me until I was so frustrated with it I thought I might have to just give it all up.

Not two days after I determined I would turn this around using my own signature coaching process, one of my kung fu students contacted me and shared his experience not only in personal training, which I knew he did, but with post-rehab and corrective exercises. I was blown away that someone I had known for years might have a path to healing for me!

And that’s how this works—we make a decision (Spirit of the Crane, if you’ve been following me for any length of time) and an opportunity (Spirit of the Mantis) presents itself.

The other thing that comes up, however, is a challenge to make us quit, and those have been coming up right and left, until I recognize them and kick their trash because they are NOT stopping me (Spirit of the Tiger).

I am a few months in to a year-long effort to correct my body issues, then train up more aggressively for the following year, in order to prepare for the third year, which will be full of various pre-tests as I advance to 6th degree black belt.

I am on track and feel amazing every day I keep the goal in sight and do the work!

So what about you?

What do you want to achieve?
What are you ready to make happen once and for all?

What comes up for you when you think about it?

Is it all excitement and surety?

Or is there a hidden black cloud about ready to rain on your parade because:

  • You haven’t actually done it before
  • You always start a new goal or a new year’s resolution then forget about it within a few weeks
  • No one else will believe you can do it
  • You’ve made it this far without it, so why go through all the effort, it probably won’t happen anyway…

I hope you’re not latching on to those thoughts, but I know they creep in for most people.

Even with my weight, I’ve planned on dropping it for the last few years without success, but guess what is awesome about life? Past failures have no bearing on future successes. Neither do others’ thoughts about it—only your own thoughts and actions determine your rate of success.

We go around basing our choices on PROBABILITY based on our track records, while completely ignoring POSSIBILITY based on new choices we can EASILY make!

Yes, I said “easily.” It is easy. Change is surprisingly very easy. The only thing that makes it hard is our resistance to change. Clear the resistance and you can create any change you want in a very short time.

It’s time to make the changes you’ve had in mind all year to finally get the results you want.

You Are Right There—Make It Happen!

Since we are wrapping up 2016, and you and I both know that change is drastically easier when you have support, I am offering a special end-of-year private coaching package! Learn more here.

Or, if you’d rather ride out the holidays and begin with a bang in 2017, you can Design Your Empowered Life beginning January 10, 2017 through my brand new 3-month program. Learn more at TanishaMartin.com/empowered life.

Email me at Support@TanishaMartin.com if you would like a complimentary Discovery Session to more clearly determine how I can support you.

This life is yours, and it’s the only one you have.
Grab it and take it where you want to go!

Four Words that Will Change Everything Part 2

Last time, here at Tanisha Martin blog, we reminisced on the iconic movie Pretty Woman and those four words that make all the difference, “Take care of you.” (Check it out here if you missed it.)

Look around yourself for a moment and notice… No matter where you go or what you do, you are and have always been the center of your Universe. Of course everyone else’s world doesn’t revolve around you, but yours does! (And should.)

When we choose to accept the responsibility for being the center of our Universe, we choose to take in the beauty and appreciate it as well as ourselves for manifesting and recognizing that beauty. We also choose to evaluate and handle the challenges that come our way from the governing paradigm that it’s up to us to understand why we manifest them and find new solutions for desired results.

When we take responsibility for creating and embracing both the positive as well as the challenging, we complete the circle of power in our lives, and are able to manage and accomplish everything that is truly needed, and so much more!

Every client I’ve worked with for a variety of personal and business-related issues, had to first look at where they were or were not honoring themselves, and whether they were operating from a place of being a powerless victim or an empowered driving force in their lives.

Case Study: Opening up a maxed-out business to bring in $2000+ more a month.

One client of mine had built a thriving accounting business she ran solopreneur-style, and she wanted to add a new client that would bring in a couple thousand dollars more a month, but she was absolutely tapped out in time and energy.

We started by evaluating her mindset and identifying where she was or was not honoring herself in her personal and work life. To build a positive foundation, I had her start a Daily Fulfillment Ritual (all my clients have to do this, it’s that influential!), which varies per client and for her meant taking some quiet time to read her Bible and activate her love and spirituality for the day. This put her in the zone of being positive, open, and fulfilled each and every day.

Then we looked at some issues that were getting in the way of her productivity physically and emotionally. She established personal and professional boundaries and enforced them, which kept her from being a victim to others’ actions and put her back in the drivers’ seat.

She also adjusted her diet and exercise and started shedding some extra weight which gave her more energy and confidence.

From this healthy and improved self-honoring foundation, we then took practical action steps to create a smooth system for doing client work and open up space for the new client.

And every time her non-serving subconscious programs or limiting belief systems reared their ugly heads as she stretched out of her comfort zone to accomplish the truly amazing, I was there to help her get out of the muck and step back into her greatness.

My client set her goal, made the changes necessary, and was ready to add the new business and a couple more thousand dollars in income per month within a very short time!

It all stems from that core foundation of self-love and honoring, and flows out into the day-to-day actions.

Take Care of You

If you are ready to experience something like this in your own life without the struggle of endless trial and error to figure it out on your own, I have a few private coaching slots available right now at a special end-of-year Bust-the-Finish-Line rate and it also includes my new Design Your Empowered Life Platinum program (beginning January 10, 2017) as a FREE BONUS!

Email me at Tanisha@TanishaMartin.com or call (719) 377-2108 to schedule a complimentary, no-obligation Discovery Session to see if private coaching and Design Your Empowered Life is a good fit for you!