Tag Archives: Colorado

50 Shades of Grey and Love Balloons at Cinemark

50 Shades of Grey at Cinemark on Valentine’s Day—Make Love, not Abuse

Only one person flipped us off.

The vast majority of passersby honked, waved, or gave a thumbs up! We were not out there a minute when the first car that passed us honked in support.

Within five minutes, the coolest thing happened that solidified the tone of love for the rest of the hour and a half we stood at the corner of Cinemark’s south entrance and Tutt Blvd., displaying messages to raise awareness and show our support of love, not abuse.

Tanisha ~ Ask me about REAL LIFE with


Ask me about REAL LIFE with “CHRISTIAN GREY”

MANIPULATED consent is not the same as CONSENT

How do you define ABUSE?
(control, humiliation, force, unsympathetic, coercion, intimidation, manipulation, threats, jealousy, violence)

“Kinks” & “prudes” AGREE… ABUSE is not SEXY

FREE HUGS from a DVSA survivor

My original intent with my friend Phyllis was to stand closer to the movie theater so we could create dialogue with moviegoers on foot, but security asked me to leave before she even arrived. I wasn’t interested in causing a scene, and Phyllis ended up having to work anyway, so the first attempt on Friday, February 13, was a bust.

On Saturday, my friend Julie and I met and tried again, this time by the street. Security drove through the back parking lot several times, but let us be.

Julie ~ FREE HUGS from a DVSA survivor

In that hour and a half, we didn’t create direct dialogue, but our message did get noticed.

One lady rolled down her window and profusely thanked us for taking a stand. A few people wouldn’t make eye contact or let us see them check out our signs. Others craned their neck to continue reading as their driver made the turn out of the drive onto Tutt.

For all the women who couldn’t wait to see the movie, there are so many more people of all genders and ages who were either already against it or now have something to seriously think about.

Tanisha ~ How do you define ABUSE?

We are not alone.

The highlight within the first five minutes that set the tone?

On this light, breezy Valentine’s Day, the most awesome guy ever approached us in a truck filled with red heart-shaped helium balloons and gave one to each of us. His three (or five!) point turn around in the entrance to get back where he came from, told us we were appreciated—that he made a special trip just for us.

As victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse and manipulation ourselves, we tied our love balloons to each other’s wrists and prepared to take our stand.



Click here to learn more about why we are boycotting 50 Shades of Grey in favor of donating to a local DVSA (Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault) shelter instead.

My Story

(WARNING – graphic content and potential trigger.) Read part of my personal story as it relates to 50 Shades here.

Get Help—Resources

See local and national resources here.

When it Rains, it Pours—3 Easy Steps to Getting Back on Top

When it Rains, it Pours!

Oh, wow. Colorado is flooded out in many areas and to those who are seriously burdened by this natural disaster, and I send all the good energy and love out to you! For me it’s just a HUGE inconvenience…

The town home I just rented has flooded four times in a month, before I even had a chance to unpack. On top of which I’m congested and feeling crappy, which I HOPE has nothing to do with the mold that is down there. Not to mention I recently tweaked my Achilles’ tendon and have been hobbling in pain for a week—not very conducive to teaching kung fu or dealing with the flood. And these are coming in on the tail of some other frustrating situations…

Different day, different set of circumstances, but it seems like there’s always something. So what’s new? Don’t we periodically, or often (hopefully not frequently…) go through periods where when it rains it pours? (Sorry for the bad pun…) It stinks, but honestly, every time I go through a period of growth, circumstances like this try to keep me down. The key is to keep your chin up, laugh it off, and keep your vision in mind.

Responsibilities do get interrupted when I have to spend days up-leveling my Tetris skills to get my boxes and furniture to fit in nooks and crannies anywhere but the flooded rooms, instead of doing work I had planned. My fitness and kung fu are on temporary leave since I can’t even walk normally. Your circumstances might be different, but I’m sure you can relate!

The worst thing I could do is give up. Lay down and cry and say, “What’s the point in trying?” …Okay, I confess, I might have done that for a minute, but that’s it, then it’s right back up to the next task.

So how do you really deal with situations like this? It’s YOUR choice, and here are three choices that will serve you better than crying, getting frustrated, or giving up.

1. Learn From Your Reaction

Up above, I mentioned,

Different day, different set of circumstances, but it seems like there’s always something. So what’s new?

This was my initial reaction, and I know a lot of you will relate. Now think about this because this is really key… If I truly believe that statement, which I obviously do, or it wouldn’t have come so easily from my mind to my typing fingers, then it will keep being true for me over and over and over and over again. This should be major a-ha for any of you who nodded your head when your first read that statement. (For those of you who don’t feel that way, exactly, the principle here still applies to you. Keep reading…)

What we believe is what we create. What we focus on, like the phrase, “Same thing, different day” is what we get. This is Universal Law. So we need to reframe and reprogram our beliefs. Begin giving ourselves a new experience.

Here’s what you do:

  1. Notice your reaction to your circumstances. Your reaction is a clue to what you really believe deep inside. (Ex. Bad things happen to good people. I’m unlucky. I can’t get ahead…)
  2. For the negative aspects of your reaction, take a sheet of paper and write down how that negative view serves you. (For me in this example, my number one benefit from viewing my life that way is that it keeps me from getting on top of a few  key areas, which keeps me from expanding to where I really envision myself going. It keeps me small and “safe.”)
  3. (You may have positive reactions too, those are gold gems you get to apply to other areas of your life where you may have “forgotten” them.)
  4. Turn your negative into a positive.

2. Focus on the Silver Lining

Cliché? Sure. Key to getting back on top? Absolutely.

So the main level flooded. What can I do? Not a whole lot, so there’s no point in flooding my whole body and mind with negativity about it too. Instead, I focus on a horde of positive aspects around the situation, including some direct benefits.

  • I have a whole upper level in which to dwell for a while.
  • I can put off the huge job of unpacking. Awesome! That means I get to move up some work projects’ timelines then, at least the ones that don’t require some of the stuff I have packed LOL.
  • I don’t have to clean the main floor for a while.
  • I can get waited on hand and foot by my boyfriend since I can’t be walking all over the place doing stuff for myself, and he’s just great like that. ;)
  • The carpet that wasn’t in good shape is gone!

The more I think about the benefits, the more benefits I can think of! See how that works? I could seriously keep writing benefits, once I let my mind go there in the first place. Now I feel empowered instead of enslaved. I feel excited instead of worn down.

3. Embrace Solutions

Now that you have a positive outlook and are empowered, you can more effectively find your solutions. Can I literally stop the rain? Not really. Can I deal with it? Heck, yeah! The carpet got torn out after flood number three, so now it’s just a matter of time until the concrete dries enough to be sealed then finished. What will I do during that time? Take care of my work, other responsibilities, and there are some boxes I can still unpack in my office and bedroom, so I’ll focus on those. I’ll keep hobbling, and tomorrow I get to try out my new chiropractor, where he can check out my foot too. There are plenty of solutions when I get my head out of the stormy clouds.

What circumstances in your life are interrupting your flow? Go through these steps and get back on top, because YOU get to create your life. Enjoy it, and let me know how it goes!